I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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