i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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