her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
