I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I love having hate sex.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
