STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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