i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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