so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
