he wants to bone in the snuggie
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
