Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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