i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
