Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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