never play flip cup with pint glasses
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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