I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
