She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dick very happy bro
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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