I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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