tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize