Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
