I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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