Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Michael Bay diarrhea
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
