If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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