the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.