i don't like sucking hair
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.