Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
