i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
