i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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