is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
pop tarts are not kleenex
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
