did you get engaged???
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
