i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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