Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
