He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
