I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
