I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can you bring me the toilet please
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
