Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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