he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
As shirtless as possible
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
