just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
