Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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