he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
