Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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