apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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