piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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