well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
