I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
