peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize