last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
