Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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