pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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