Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize