I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
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Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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