thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
