I CAN MOONWALK!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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