oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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