So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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