He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
