I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
