im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
