I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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