I am in a vortex of obligation.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
