Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
