2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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