Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
