The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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